The Eight Finest Breasts in Georgia...

October 19, 2009

...and the top two.

Ohhh, Suzannah...

So now that I, a feminist, have completely objectified the feminists on a feminist's show -- and have completely overused the word "feminist" -- I'd like to discuss Designing Women for a bit.

I totally love this sitcom, not because of the, um, eye candy factor, but because it hardly even feels like a sitcom. In addition to the sultry Sapphic subtext between Mary Jo and Suzanne, the series addresses and debunks practically every kind of prejudice in existence: sexism, misogyny, homophobia, racism, classism, ageism, sizeism. You name it, they've got it covered.

Character breakdown...

Mary Jo. Mary Jo could be my doppelganger. (I've always wanted to use that word.) She's much more assertive and "brimming with bravado and self-confidence" than she realizes, and if I weren't so humble, I'd say the same thing about myself.

Julia. My heroine. Joan Crawford reincarnated, The Terminator is the epitome of eloquence and elegance. Julia says everything out loud that I have only ever had the gumption to say in writing. When in doubt of what to do about some grievous injustice, I often ask myself, WWJD? What would Julia do?

Charlene. My dream girl. If I knew Charlene in real life, I absolutely would have fallen for her the way that Dorothy's friend Jean falls for Rose in the "Isn't It Romantic?" episode of The Golden Girls.

Suzanne. The Rolls Royce of females, according to Mary Jo, who considers it an honor just to guard her brassiere at night. As irreverent as Suzanne is, I admire her absence of inhibitions. Suzanne says whatever she wants about whomever she wants to whomever she wants whenever she wants. Yes, that description applies to Julia as well, but unlike Julia, Suzanne doesn't think before she speaks. There's just something very liberating about that, y'know?

Speaking of Suzanne, I had a rather erotic dream about her last night. My recollection is fuzzy in terms of storyline, but the, um, sensual aspects of the dream are much more lucid.

Hmmm. I think I would describe the dream as a fusion of my story "Bowl Me Over" and my poem "Sugar High"...

Curiouser and curiouser,
Allison Wonderland

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